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  • Claire Sheehan

Monday Selfcare practice 23 July 2018 - Focus on your own version of Joy

I decided to have this as my focus for this week because I've seen a few posts on local groups about the pressure that can come with the holidays. Selfcare to me is about taking the pressure off myself and doing things from a place of calm, choice and joy. So although I had another idea for todays summer selfcare practice this felt like the more important one to talk about and consider.

Social media can be amazing, but sometimes seeing all the things that other people are doing can make you anxious that actually you/ your children are missing out or you should be doing more things. Or bigger things!

I felt this a little last year when I saw all the things some Mums managed to do with their littles. Having two the same age, one of who has a "look I'm just going to go this way. As fast as possible! And without telling you! Because I might miss something exciting!" kind of approach to life, made me feel really anxious about going to any events or places on my own with them where it would be really busy. And seeing other people manage this made me feel like I was missing out or making them miss out. (Although still didn't make me want to take them on the bouncy castles on my own!)

So my big selfcare practice this time around is

Focus on my own version of Joy this summer and do what works for me and my family.

So what am I doing as a selfcare practice to help me with that as we head into the holidays?

  • I have my summer vision boards that I made and that the boys helped with, that helps me to remember what a good summer means to us. This is OUR summer - we get to create the summer we choose!

  • I'm focusing on creating my own summer plans - a recipe for what works for us rather than what I think I should or could be doing. My summer planner is helping with that too, along with the fact that the boys are a bit older now so definitely have their own plans about what a good summer looks like!

  • I'm focusing on the small things rather than the big things - being confident about my own summer makes it easier to have the confidence to say no to the bous about constant requests for another magazine / a trip to the zoo / a trip to softplay.

  • I'm choosing to focus on the fact that we can have time together just hanging out, doing our own thing.. Whether they think it is or not, the boys have a whole heap of things at home and creative activities at home that they can work on.

  • I'm working on what works for us. I might feel too stressed to go to the beach on my own with them when it is a peak time, but I may take them to the beach earlier in the day or later in the day and meet up with my husband so it's a trip for all of us.

Involving the family

I know that there are some things that the boys will want to do that aren't in my zone of comfort or necessarily joy. That's where it is looking at what we do as a whole family so it is fun for all and making sure we can get in some of those things which are more of a boy choice than something which would bring me immediate joy. Where I can, I'd rather design activities that bring a little joy to all of us rather than joy to one or two but maybe a little stress to someone else. Working out what works for us all!

  • One twin really enjoys being outside so lots of time for fun in the garden and play with water will really make them happy.

  • One twin really loves making things and creative time. So some craft activities will work for them.

  • I love a little quiet time and some outside time, so some time where I can sit quietly and enjoy relaxing maybe outside.

  • We all love a picnic inside or out!

  • My husband loves taking them out scooting and seeing them explore

  • Keeping a good balance in all this between the free things we can do and low cost also helps keep things reduced in stress. There is so much money that can be spent and if we did something every day that was like a "trip" we would spend a lot of time and money and maybe the worry of that would counter the fun. Plus. I do really like having some down time and not going too far time! It's part of what helps me energise when we do have bigger things planned I need the time on the other side to decompress and relax into the next activity. For instance school have signposted us to some great free/low cost holiday clubs run by local churches that keep them busy (have given me a little time back!) and are only a small cost investment.

Hope you're moving smoothly into the holidays.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on summer. Approach it lightly.

If you'd like a summer planner and summer love to do list with some ideas check out my Summer Plan set on Etsy (then you can choose which work for you!)

My mantra for this week:

I am choosing to flow gently into the holidays and find the pace that works for us

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