Good morning and WOW to it being October already! Anyone else wondering how that happened? I do really love the autumn tho and my boys are super excited as it's a) their birthday month and b) Halloween!
This week I've been thinking about sometimes what we need isn't a big wholesale change but a little more focus on tweaking things that are already working. I find it's easy to look at all the things which aren't working that well, but they can feel like a mountain to change. Because it feels like where we are and where we want to be are just too far apart. It's like the equivalent of thinking we are starting out a trip today in Essex and we will be out in America on foot tomorrow. We just wouldn't do it! Yet we can do it to ourselves All. The.Time!
So today my invite to myself and to you is to focus on something you want to improve, but to look for the small tweaks you can make to improve it.
Instead of focusing on what isn't working, focus on when it IS already working. Even a little bit. I think it feels so much kinder and self compassionate to look at when it is working, even a little. Because this then becomes a bridge we can walk over because we start to realise we are already on the right path.
As an example: Something at home which can be a bit stressful is getting one of the twins attention for reading which we try to do every day because we have a reading champion scheme at school. When it happens when he feels focused and wants to read, he tends to work through the book faster, has less issues with finding the right words, and it's generally a less stressful experience for all of us!
So... this week I'm looking at how we can make this a kinder and more fun experience for all of us. This is looking at what good looks like - engaged, ready to read, trying with the words. For me, it works and feels like a good experience when I am not tired and frustrated about how progress is going. So what tweaks could we make to get more of this?
We could:
Try saying we will read at a specific time each night - so it's a more routine expected experience.
Try reading straight from school before the TV goes on (rather than it being a battle to switch tv off/ wondering when it is going back on)
Ask the boys when they would most like to do their reading
A bigger tweak would be to try reading in the morning, which we could still do as we have enough time.
It's a little example, but its a good example of looking at how we live our lives in such a way that each experience has the potential to be more joyful, more connected and a more easeful experience for us. It's also about giving ourselves grace and celebrating our small wins.
I'd love to hear about your small wins this week and how you took the opportunity to look at small tweaks you have made to make things more easeful, more joyful and a source of more wellbeing for yourself and your family.
Until next week
Claire